Imagine me right now driving home to Buffalo, texting on my phone, eating Burger King, with Lana Del Ray blasting at full volume as I song along pretending I’m a pouty rich white girl.
i wouldn’t mind being a bit overweight if my fat distributed evenly so i could be a woofable bear/cub. but instead it just looks unflattering and flabby since my legs and arms and face and chest stay skinny. fuck~
Things I’ve learned while watching Hoarders: Most hoarders are fat. If they are skinny, then you know they’re like EXTRA FUCKING CRAZY.
When people ask me my hobbies and interests, I wish “hairy guys, jockstraps, and sex” was an appropriate/culturally accepted answer.
Anonymous asked: you're my favorite of all
My life: when mentioning that I’m going to start going to the gym, my stepmother automatically says it’d be a great place to “meet new people”. Obviously she was implicating cruising.
Anonymous asked: It was serious. I love you! xox
how does tumblr exist like it’s full of guys who are perfect for me and i want to date